blubber commercial

clement wrote this in his last email...

You have a choice of 3 challenges:
a) Write your own bad Japanese TV ad for whale blubber. Or
b) Come up with your own Japanese TV gameshow.
e.g 'Bunt's happy happy wish luck gameshow variety hour'.
c) Describe a day in the life of the fictional town called Rugby.(This last one could be a little too easy for you).

i managed to resist the temptation to do number (c) and opted for the blubber ad. So here it is (those offended by the butchering of whales best not read ahead)

Blubber Good! ™

“Come and get the blubber, the blubber is your lover, the blubber is your friend!”
Is the jingle for the whale blubber company, Blubber Good!™

The ad is set at a beach.

Two Japanese chefs, fully decked out in Iron Chef-style gear are standing at two wooden tables that are covered in a variety of cooking apparatus. They are brandishing two huge silver cleavers, one in each hand. The emperor then appears and the chefs bow politely. The emperor barks a curt order and four heavily set Japanese men then come in carrying two small whales. They throw one on each table and the emperor gives the signal. The two chefs then proceed to butcher the whales whilst the four men and the emperor dance around singing the jingle in Japanese. The chefs are flicking blubber everywhere and a large piece hits the emperor in the face. The music is cut and everyone stops and looks horrified. After a pause, the emperor pulls a stupid face, wipes off the blubber and says down the barrel of the camera, “Blubber Good!” ™

Then everyone keeps dancing and singing and a bunch of girls in bikinis come onto the screen and start rubbing whale meat all over their bodies. Then the song ends and the company name, Blubber Good! ™ is emblazoned on the screen. The screen goes black but after a second flashes back to the scene on the beach. The sun has set by now and the emperor is alone, rubbing blubber all over himself singing the jingle. This shot is held for two seconds and the ad finishes.